I am still at Gethsemane

Like any other over doer I have my moments and today was one of those days . I am still in Gethsemane, haven’t even made my way to the cross yet , no death , neither resurrection and yes my soul is crushed .

Aaaah the uncertainty , the emotion , the fear , the idea of not being in control, the frustration of letting go , it is all within me . Whilst I am an optimist , today I had to sit and allow the floods to have their way. Had to sit and sob , I couldn’t bring my energy levels up.

It is so lonely 😭 on this street and I feel all alone , I accept that the journey is mine alone I suppose. The word that kept me company was Jesus experiencing the moment of crushing at Gethsemane, a moment of surrender to what was to come.

So today I am just taking this moment to sit with this feeling for a while – your will and not mine , dear Lord

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