You regret what you didn’t do and not what you did

20 years ago I started studying at Wits Tech . I remember the feeling I had within three months of my arrival

I just had this terrible feeling of regret with my Grade 12 Maths outcome …. I stood right at the F-Purple block and uttered- I could have gotten an A in Maths 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️and I got a B instead … I could have done better … I should have done better

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You see coming to further my studies was a dream come true but I didn’t expect myself to grasp the stuff at this level , I just assumed that technikon modules would be hard

And I was pleasantly surprised

I aced my statistics class even though I didn’t even relate to the subject matter. Meaning at that point in time I couldn’t imagine the role of the subject in real life situations

But I did exceptionally well , to a point that I realized that I could have done better with extra commitment to my Mathematics in Grade 12 …..

It took a while for that feeling to go away . I regretted not working harder to get an A

This was the same year I grasped the concept of “ could have “ “should have “ and how much it adds no value to ones life

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The lesson that I got was as follows –

I must make every effort with every opportunity I get to give it my best shot.

There are some life experiences where you only get one chance to shoot . Give it your best

Recognize the moment because we are always standing in the moments of history without even realizing it . We are always writing a story about our lives . Try your best to make sure that you own the words

Dwelling in the past does not help , I cannot change it . I can only change the future

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For the past twenty years there has been some good awareness about this fact but an even better experience has been the one where I am now aware that some experiences are just that once off ….. I am now in the time and space where I can also create these opportunities for these shots to occur and it feels great

I have also learned to never take any opportunity for granted . Every experience is intended to serve me some way , always

Lastly , I give myself grace when something doesn’t work . Because I don’t know what I don’t know and this has taken a while for me to grasp

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Walking into this new year – I have a deep yearning to lead my life from a place of no regrets. I want to try to shoot my best shot at whatever it is that God has placed under my responsibility . Be it work , raising kids , marriage, friendships and family life. From that day at F-purple block , I think I have done pretty well and I am grateful

I want for difference in room for improvement and utter negligence

I want to be able to look back with a smile on my face , and marvel to the fact that I tried

In success and failure – it will feel good to know that at least that was my best shot

The relentless pursuit is on because I don’t want to regret not doing what I know I was meant to do

So help me God

🙏🏾

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