The choice I made on 11 December 2019

I had an encounter which was very unkind to me. I felt demeaned, disrespected and looked down upon, in my own house.

The process of reconciliation taught me something. Some days in life, you will not choose yourself. As she spoke her version of the story, lied through her teeth, I accepted, that today I choose my husband and my kids. I was also very clear in that moment that I chose them, over choosing me.

I was an option to choose. Which was a dismissal of the person. I believe that is what I wanted because I felt no one should ever disrespect me like that. Especially when I have done my part to give them the honor and respect they deserve.

I know this for myself, I never want to feel disrespected in my house and furthermore when an opportunity for the truth is presented, the person chooses themselves over the truth.  Trust has been broken.

I pray I never regret the decision to dismiss with 3 months’ salary allowance. But then again, I am reminding myself that, I am always aware when I make a decision of not choosing myself. I don’t feel like I betrayed myself.

However I must share with the person that I would rather live with a person who tells the truth, owns their shit and say sorry, than a person who says “they were joking’ and they did not mean it that way, when all of their body language and demeanor was the complete opposite.

I have lived through enough of that BS in my house and I refuse to do so ever again. I have been made a fool with that language of “I was just joking “too many times, to an extent that I completely lost trust in my own experiences, especially the terrible uncomfortable ones.

I am also very clear that the decision and choice I made is not for peace sake. It is for me to give a human being another chance, a job to provide for their family. I am happy I said this was a verbal warning. I am very clear about that.

Some situations you get to choose other people and it is okay, so long as you don’t betray yourself.

The responsibility of teaching people how to treat me rests with me and I am proud of myself that I voiced that out. Here is what I am going to do:

– I am going to enjoy  coming back home

– Because that is my house that I dearly sweat for it

– I am going to treat myself with the respect I deserve

– I am going to be kind to myself

– I am going to be clear about my boundaries

– I am going to voice out how feel, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me and the person who hears it

 

I have to show up for myself. I owe myself that much.

 

I am a wonderful person, I certainly am a great and exceptional employer, and everyone wants to work for me and with me. I pay the greatest salaries, I am compassionate, and I give above the legally required leave days and salary rates. I am considerate and anyone who works for me is blessed.

How I choose to show up it’s my responsibility , how you choose to show up it’s on you boo!!!!!! If I am honest and you choose dishonesty that’s on you !!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s