I have been reflecting on my New Year resolutions and goals I set for this year and I am humbled by the grace of God and the revelation of the word in my life. I did not have big things to do, somehow I understood what time it is in my life. And I felt so strongly that the Lord was leading me to this place of great understanding.
One of my most favorite scriptures is 1 Chronicles 12v32
32 from Issachar, men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do—200 chiefs, with all their relatives under their command;
Understanding of what time it is in my life is something I consider as amongst the greatest gifts of all. More so because it is very easy to get lost in the aloofness of chasing something outside what we have and what God has entrusted to us, in the hope or an illusion that what we seek, what we desire andwhat is fulfilling is somewhere out there and not just right under our nose.
So in our list of things to do, we prayed for new pots – my husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have been preparing our meals in some pots we used from varsity days and singlehood days. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but just that our focus was that we wanted our actions to reflect what we value. Home cooked meals and time spent together as a family is something that we hold dear and close to us and this goal was just a representation of that.
We also prayed for creating a space for a retreat in our garden, we call it a “zen” space. And what this represent for us is a place to come home and refresh or be rejuvenated. It is powerfully recognising that we choose not to have any other place or space, which will help us connect, be revived, pray or relax, either than our home. So we know that home is where we find joy, rest and peace of mind.
Furthermore, we prayed for enabling our bedroom, ours and children to reflect a space of rest, intimacy and conversation. Sleep is one of the most important human needs and we do take it for granted at times. So putting some effort in creating a space that is calm, welcoming and comfortable was something that we desired. And of course having the kids design their own space is one way of allowing creativity to flow and also helping them take ownership of their living environment.
And so for the past 8 months, I have been waking up early, preparing cute lunch boxes for our babies, sometimes I would do them the night before. I helped our babies brush their teethevery single day, bathed them, and rubbed their cute tiny bodies with Vaseline next to a heater, just the way my mother did it for me. I then put some warm clothes on their bodies, prepared and served them breakfast. I then drove and dropped them at different school every single day. My husband would later go fetch them and do homework, every single day.
This year I learned to negotiate my working hours at work,granted I stepped into a new employer right at the beginning of this year and I saw a good opportunity to be upfront about the quality of life I wanted to lead. I am very grateful for this opportunity and just the amazing amount of growth I have experienced as a working class person, to just be able to say what I want. So as a result, I start working 30 minutes later than everybody else, to allow me to drop off kids at school. I sacrifice 30 minutes of my lunch so that I can catch up and leave work on normal time. I further negotiated to leave early on one of the work days, to allow me to be there for my child at one of her dance classes. I truly consider this a privilege and I am grateful to be here and serve my employer and my family in this way.
So looking back at the past 8 months, I am glad that I can measure my life, with the success of preparing daily lunchboxes , meals and sitting down to share those meals, creating sweet memories together as we explored our area. The welcoming of the new puppies in our lives and how they have helped changed us as a family. The little quiet moments of rest and play. I am happy to be witnessing growth in relationship to our kids, my husband and just becoming a better human being in this world.
I truly feel that this is the will of God for my life right now. To do whatever it takes to put my family first, to serve my husband and our kids to the best of my ability. To use every resource that the Lord has given me, to show up, to be present, fully seen. To continuously use my voice and authority in my workspace, to advocate for a healthy quality of life, do disrupt the definition of commitment as late hours, early mornings and no rest nor fulfilling relations.
To serve my family, to be faithful through the daily chores, the laundry, the washing of dishes, the sitting around the wood fire, the chats over drinks, baking pizza on Fridays and baking muffins every Sunday afternoons. This is where my heart is fed and my soul opens up!
I am encouraged by Priscilla Shirer YouTube video named “When you are asking what is God’s will for your life” I was so emotional listening to it. It was as if God was whispering to me that I am on the right track. It affirmed me to care for the regular, mundane assignments, daily tasks, sometimes they wear one out, but they are what I am convicted to do and thatwhich most take for granted.
There is so much beauty and contentment in knowing that this is the will of God in my life.
Help me remember to ask myself in every season of my life “what time is it “ and help me find my way back to the road that which you desire me to walk on. Help me to remain in humility and surrender to your will for my life. Help me not to chase what is fleeing, but to chase your will for my life, always.