TGIF – 6 September 2019

TRUST

I am trusting that God puts a rainbow in the clouds!!!!

When it looks like the sun wasn’t going to shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds. This is what I am trusting and praying for. That no matter the size or depth of my clouds, God already put a rainbow in my sky.

It is coming, it will show up and God’s got me

Maya Angelou says “I have had so many clouds, but I have also had so many rainbows”

 

GRATEFUL

I am grateful for the daily mundane tasks and responsibilitiesof life, whether that may be motherhood, wife, Financial Manager, friend, sister. I see a huge value in the qualities and lessons I have acquired over time, from the simple daily activities and for them I am so grateful. 

One lesson that touched me much this week was GROWTH – I am growing in each and every area of these daily responsibilities. It is not always easy but it is worth it – I now have an even better understanding of myself, my life, my values, my hopes and dreams

 

INSPIRED

Reading the book the Success Commandments has changed my life. I listened to the audio version under the “Hollywood Commandments” and I just couldn’t wait to get the book. Truly grateful for the relevance it has brought for me and made understand that I am on a right path. It is a wonderful faith based analysis on how to use what God has given you for His will and service. 

I shall not be moved – the songs vibrated in my being this past few weeks. I shall not be moved, just like a tree planted by the waters I shall not be moved. I shall not be moved from my convictions, my moral compass, my faith and belief I have about our country South Africa.

Despite the challenges and the news we listen or read, South Africa is a beautiful country and it belongs to all those who live in it, a dream and vision that we shall come to realize one day, in full. Of course not without challenges, but I am not moved. 

 

FUN

I have been taking pictures of myself for the past few months. It made me realize I don’t take enough time to look at myself, in fact I don’t have a habit of checking my full body on a daily basis, even after dressing up. These pictures tell a story. One of which is the self-loathing I had internalized about my looks and weight, whilst this was a FUN process, it was a very emotional process to look at me and ask why on earth I am so brutally hard on myself. The gremlins are real. 

 

 

Here is to the journey called life

 

 

Standing in the Sun

I am excited for the new season ! September!!!

Just another reminder that all that had withered , grows again ! Same roots , new stems new flowers 🌺

Hope returns … ohwww it blooms , again ! For the minute there it was dry but ohw look again , it grows

Ziyahluma

I am excited for myself specifically because I will be standing in the SUN

I have been doing a series on The Gifts of Imperfections by Dr Brene Brown and it has helped my life so much. I have grown for the better . I am learning and letting go of who I think I am supposed to be. I have also learned to acknowledge at times and days when I feel like I am a hot mess

But most importantly to also be aware that , hot mess is a part of life and my ability to know myself , be kind to myself and be courageous enough to try again at life is what all great men and women who walked and continue to walk , do on a daily basis

All I need do is allow growth and to continue embrace who I am , who I am becoming and truly surrender to God

I will be doing a new series which I call “ Healing the child in me “ my sister Thembisile Molakeng triggered this years ago and I am so grateful for her

You see , inside this woman , there is a little girl yearning for assurance and a whole lot more and I will be writing her letters. Showing her that it’s okay now , the fear can go the pain can go ! It all worked out okay and from now on the child can be at rest and at peace

My partner book is Dr Shefali “ The Conscious Parent” from it I learned the potential mistakes of deferring my dream in the hope of enforcing them on my children . I also was encouraged to strive to go for my dreams and know that I am just a guardian over my kids , nothing more nothing less.

In order to be a better parent, the child in me must heal .

It is uncomfortable to accept our imperfections but it is the wisest thing required to truly lead a wholehearted life

Come stand in the SUN with me

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#standinginthesun

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This is the will of God for my life

I have been reflecting on my New Year resolutions and goals I set for this year and I am humbled by the grace of God and the revelation of the word in my life. I did not have big things to do, somehow I understood what time it is in my life. And I felt so strongly that the Lord was leading me to this place of great understanding. 

One of my most favorite scriptures is 1 Chronicles 12v32

32 from Issachar, men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do—200 chiefs, with all their relatives under their command;

Understanding of what time it is in my life is something I consider as amongst the greatest gifts of all. More so because it is very easy to get lost in the aloofness of chasing something outside what we have and what God has entrusted to us, in the hope or an illusion that what we seek, what we desire andwhat is fulfilling is somewhere out there and not just right under our nose.

So in our list of things to do, we prayed for new pots – my husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have been preparing our meals in some pots we used from varsity days and singlehood days. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but just that our focus was that we wanted our actions to reflect what we value. Home cooked meals and time spent together as a family is something that we hold dear and close to us and this goal was just a representation of that.

We also prayed for creating a space for a retreat in our garden, we call it a “zen” space. And what this represent for us is a place to come home and refresh or be rejuvenated. It is powerfully recognising that we choose not to have any other place or space, which will help us connect, be revived, pray or relax, either than our home. So we know that home is where we find joy, rest and peace of mind.

Furthermore, we prayed for enabling our bedroom, ours and children to reflect a space of rest, intimacy and conversation. Sleep is one of the most important human needs and we do take it for granted at times. So putting some effort in creating a space that is calm, welcoming and comfortable was something that we desired. And of course having the kids design their own space is one way of allowing creativity to flow and also helping them take ownership of their living environment. 

And so for the past 8 months, I have been waking up early, preparing cute lunch boxes for our babies, sometimes I would do them the night before. I helped our babies brush their teethevery single day, bathed them, and rubbed their cute tiny bodies with Vaseline next to a heater, just the way my mother did it for me. I then put some warm clothes on their bodies, prepared and served them breakfast. I then drove and dropped them at different school every single day. My husband would later go fetch them and do homework, every single day.

This year I learned to negotiate my working hours at work,granted I stepped into a new employer right at the beginning of this year and I saw a good opportunity to be upfront about the quality of life I wanted to lead. I am very grateful for this opportunity and just the amazing amount of growth I have experienced as a working class person, to just be able to say what I want. So as a result, I start working 30 minutes later than everybody else, to allow me to drop off kids at school. I sacrifice 30 minutes of my lunch so that I can catch up and leave work on normal time. I further negotiated to leave early on one of the work days, to allow me to be there for my child at one of her dance classes. I truly consider this a privilege and I am grateful to be here and serve my employer and my family in this way. 

So looking back at the past 8 months, I am glad that I can measure my life, with the success of preparing daily lunchboxes , meals and sitting down to share those meals, creating sweet memories together as we explored our area. The welcoming of the new puppies in our lives and how they have helped changed us as a family. The little quiet moments of rest and play. I am happy to be witnessing growth in relationship to our kids, my husband and just becoming a better human being in this world. 

I truly feel that this is the will of God for my life right now. To do whatever it takes to put my family first, to serve my husband and our kids to the best of my ability. To use every resource that the Lord has given me, to show up, to be present, fully seen. To continuously use my voice and authority in my workspace, to advocate for a healthy quality of life, do disrupt the definition of commitment as late hours, early mornings and no rest nor fulfilling relations.

To serve my family, to be faithful through the daily chores, the laundry, the washing of dishes, the sitting around the wood fire, the chats over drinks, baking pizza on Fridays and baking muffins every Sunday afternoons. This is where my heart is fed and my soul opens up!

I am encouraged by Priscilla Shirer YouTube video named “When you are asking what is God’s will for your life” I was so emotional listening to it. It was as if God was whispering to me that I am on the right track. It affirmed me to care for the regular, mundane assignments, daily tasks, sometimes they wear one out, but they are what I am convicted to do and thatwhich most take for granted. 

There is so much beauty and contentment in knowing that this is the will of God in my life.

 

 

Dear God,

 

Help me remember to ask myself in every season of my life “what time is it  and help me find my way back to the road that which you desire me to walk on. Help me to remain in humility and surrender to your will for my life. Help me not to chase what is fleeing, but to chase your will for my life, always.

Grateful heart