Lesson #9 – Part 1

Cultivating calm and stillness – letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle

I feel like I have not mastered this chapter, 18 months later I know I have not. As a result I am writing this as a form of prayer and be open to the work of the Lord in my life.

I still have some of my days filled with so much anxiety and stress and I will hear myself making silent prayers of surrendering control and asking for peace.

This chapter has facts and one of those for me is this “ anxiety is extremely contagious , but so is calm” I have come to define myself as a chameleon when coming to anxiety. I remember specifically after giving birth to our first daughter . I was on anxiety and postnatal depression alert , I ran tests online over and over for myself to check if I pass or fail the tests …. reason ? Almost 4/5 of people I knew were either going into depression , in depression or coming out of depression . Some were on a relapse and that gave me a sense uneasiness about myself and honestly maybe even asking myself how come I am not going through what they were going through ….

Add to this the fact that I was three months pregnant when my dad passed away, he collapsed on my most important event , the day of ilobola. I was retrenched in that very same month May 2013 …. Fast forward 19 months later , my brother was gunned down and I was again pregnant with our second daughter. Honestly I did expect myself to be depressed and fall apart but I never did….. and that fact alone caused me anxiety …..

Instead of minding my peace I think I did spend a little of time wondering what’s next , am I going through it , is it coming , am I okay etc etc etc

What I go through is basically a state of worry and concern and mostly self doubt , I’m afraid this is a companion I have shared openly about and constantly aware of in my life and I am praying that the Lord helps give me a breakthrough

It is not healthy to doubt yourself just because you are not having the same struggles that people are going through around you , just as much as it’s important to mind my lane when everyone is prospering in their purpose , the opposite is also true and necessary when coming to challenges and I am afraid not many of us pay attention to that. This is what I mean about the chameleon personality when coming to people’s challenges …..

I have had to caution myself a few times , when I over emphasize to a point where I try diminishing my well being , mentally or otherwise in order to feel or sound more relatable. Therefore I know beyond a shadow of doubt that , shrinking is not only when things are good it can also happen during sadness or when someone is going through a bad patch.

To start off this Part – 1 on discussion about letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle, I found some amazing resources online and I am amazed at how much my understanding of scripture has been enhanced and so relevant …

Let us begin

Phillipians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious or worried about anything ,

But in everything

By prayer

And petition

With thanksgiving

Continue to make your specific requests known to God

The revelation for me about this scripture is that anxiety is a reality and it is something that exists BUT scripture tells us not to succumb to it!!!

So the starting point for me is first to acknowledge that anxiety is part of life , however God does not desire for me to lead an anxiety filled lifestyle

Secondly , anxiety emanates from needing something … I may be anxious about the well being of my family , a job security, belonging in a new company , all these things and my desire for well being may affect my state of peace and calm …wooow !!! Why would God says make your specific requests known to Him through prayer , petition and thanksgiving

Anxiety for me too is specific to something that went on , is going on or desired to go on in my life .

So it is my prayer that I will learn the art of praying and be thankful and be direct about what worries me to the Lord ….

No wonder when I practice the word in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 I feel a little lighter and a little hopeful about the future 🤷🏿‍♀️

Read on – Part – 2 on this topic

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