Reflecting on my day

Today I observed a challenge I face almost daily 

Memory loss

I want to connect this thought today with what Oprah says, that we all need validation. We all need someone to say I hear you I see you and you are doing okay . Affirmation and validation are very key human needs

So back to memory loss. I find that I will have a conversation with  colleague 1 , agree on something then fast forward to a different meeting with the same colleague 1 plus other colleagues 2 and 3, the same matter will come , which myself and colleague 1 discussed. Colleague 1 will back out or forget that we discussed and agreed on the matter

I find that this happens a lot amongst colleagues, both supervisors and managers. I’d like to view this as not a good sign of character but I’m learning that i have to adjust. 

I also observed that this is more prevalent to male colleagues than female colleagues. This scenario is not the one where I’d be looking for points or where I came up with an idea and seeking affirmation.This would be just acknowledging that the matter was part of a formal discussion in a previous or different meeting 

That meeting might have been a different level but referring to it would assist share that meetings thought process 

And so I had made a resolution that I will never use the line “ remember we spoke about it on this day and the resolution was 1..2..3” or say so and so told me about it…. or remember I told you about this the other day.., it makes people uncomfortable.,, I don’t know why🤷🏿‍♀️

Today I forgot, I thought since that was discussed in depth , everyone should remember. … It was a formal discussion…. a very critical matter … even the minutes had it…suddenly no one came forth to back me. … only the minutes…My heart sank , I think I tried too hard to have everyone acknowledge that it was discussed. .. were people afraid of owning it ? Or were they now of a different view? And do they understand that’s it’s okay to change your opinion about something??

It really took a while for my lightbulb to come up and say hey it’s one of those things …..let it go… and so we started all over again, even going as far as getting the files that we all went through 🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾in the previous meeting…

I thought I’d suffered memory loss but this is something else 

This is such a new thing to me. In my early years of work, my mentors instilled in me to remember critical conversations because it’s the little ideas , thoughts that change things around. My mentors never liked repeating things as it’s was seen as being inefficient. So I lived like that 

But my environment is different, I cannot say to my boss , hey remember we spoke about it or remember the resolution of the management committee etc

Things are discussed as “ New” almost all the time 

I don’t know but it not the best way of running the entity 

I’m always willing to say listen I have changed my mind from the thought process, I struggle to treat an item as New or act like I don’t know anything or never heard about it before, especially if it’s the same crowd that was there previously and worse if it was formal 
Nonetheless I must be open to understand what’s happening under the surface 

I’m here to serve

I’m here to learn 

Thank Goodness for minute taking by it’s not all our meetings that are being captured..,, maybe that’s what is causing this inefficiency 

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