Speaking while female 

It is very easy to assume that now that we have the freedom as female this means the world is open and ready for us

My experience with the entity has been on the shocking side

Just today at a training, I solved a problem that was tackled in a group format, one of my colleagues uttered the words to himself “ why am I being so stupid “ I told him that this was a finance problem something that is natural for me to solve , I went further to say , he should take heart because he would probably destroy me in communication an area of his expertise…. his next response was ….”” I hate losing to a woman “


My system was shocked and I really hung tight to my horses , I heard myself say well no need to be sexist about it, times have changed 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️he still continued uttering the same statement until the facilitator , who is by the way very senior and already on his retirement, he said you heard times have changed

This scenario may not be easily believable by someone. I myself would have thought perhaps I’m not giving someone the benefit of the doubt

Truth is , it happened. I took some time for the longest time to reflect on what my entity had to offer when coming to gender equality and dispelling the stereotype. I coined an expression that laws are made but people are not trained or taken through what this means for their day to day life

My boss believes the previous government got “ it” right. He says women were not meant to work. So by virtue of paying men more cash it allowed the women to care for children, a function which is natural and to which women are more equipped with. A work environment in his view is not suitable to a woman… and no wonder I struggle to follow his leadership at times and these are some reasons why at every turn he makes me feel inadequate…. he genuinely doesn’t believe that I’m capable.. And continue to verbally say his view about my limitations without proposing a solution…….

The perception that women lead with emotions therefore there’s nothing that can get done

A further stereotype that certain jobs like debt collection are more suited for women because they are patient. Whilst there may be truth in  some of these , my question is when are we going to start implementing the changes and starting to teach men that they can be good debt collectors. When will we say men need to learn being patient. In fact when do we stop taking “ husband “ characters to work ??

Anyway, in 2015, I announced to my then boss that I was pregnant. A CFO post was vacant and I had applied . After telling him he responded by asking if this baby was planned 😳😳…. I have thought a lot about this and I don’t know if this question would have been justified if I wasn’t married??? I don’t think so

The thing is if I was a man , such a question wouldn’t exist. Anyway I proceeded to tell him that I had decided not to proceed with my consideration for the post and that he must further advise the panel that I have withdrawn. I had put in a lot of thought into it and I knew I wasn’t ready

My boss had completely forgotten that the very same critical post had already taken a year before they could even advertise it. So I was wondering, was I supposed to stop my family life for a position???

Our government has done some great laws and put in good policies to advance the woman. But the environment is not conducive for the process

The men , no matter how young, are still old school thinkers who cannot separate their wives from their colleagues. I observed that when I speak to my supervisors in work stuff, if there’s something he doesn’t agree to, he refers the conversation or experiences to that of how he solved it with his wife. Meanwhile I’d be standing there thinking, how does the wife come in here??? There’s not a single conversation or business decision that I have or taken whilst I’m looking at my male colleague and think to myself, okay that’s so stubborn, sounds about just what my husband would say … noooo I never do that

So I believe my male colleagues are not able to separate the two spheres . Life at home being a husband and life at work being a supervisor and colleague. Especially if a man is in a position of power

I look at my life and I realize that I have been spoiled

From a very young age my brothers affirmed me, my father affirmed me. My fellow SCO brothers affirmed me. All men in my life have worshiped my ground. They always laid a red carpet for me to waltz. From my very first boss, he gave me the tools, trained me and never once made me feel that I depend on him to make it. My second boss, sat me down and told me on my last day , how special I am, my third bosses they put me on a pedestal, my former CEO gave me his role to chair the staff meetings and give him feedback. My bosses recalled every small conversations I had with them, in meetings they were quick to tell everyone that it was my idea that brought this and that… they affirmed me, promoted me, spoke Life to me!!! The best thing is, they were young. My first boss was below 40 second one turned 40 whilst I was there , third ones were 31 and 35 all young yet matured transformed and powerful

I have been trying to understand if what I’m dealing with is lack of exposure? I’m comparing private to public sector… could this be a reflection of what public service men work like?
My current boss is 4 years older than me. I’m shocked that he can take my idea to make it his during presentation, shocked that he’s unable to recall conversation of critical nature, unable to say yes you told me that , shocked that he’s not able to have difficult conversations…… the view of his leadership and exposure is something I’m still adjusting to

I don’t know what to attribute this to. I’m still learning and discovering

In private sector I was encouraged to lift my hand up always 😂😂😂over here I’m told I’m making noise, I’m too aggressive. It’s as if the men around here are the only ones entitled to come up with concrete stuff

I can’t help but feel like I’m being treated like a wife. I’m traditional and I love my wifely duties but I’m sorry not here … I’m here to work

SS was right, when a girl tried to lead she’s often labeled as being bossy

I have observed how even in audit committee meeting a woman will present and become a meal yet a man will even come short late or half prepared and yet he will not be kept to account . Some principles are important only when applied to women and suddenly a secret private code arises when it’s a man

Men are expected to be assertive and women communial

It can’t be. I must pave a way for my girls 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s