I committed myself to a three months membership this week and I feel pretty good about it .

I have done three gym sessions of 45 minutes each, I got a personal trainer to help me with a training plan and I must say so far so good 

I feel like I have big lumps on my thighs and legs. I did 2.8km of jogging this morning then I dipped myself in a hot bath this evening. I then massaged both areas but I don’t  feel any better 

The idea of committing to a flexible gym time is a great innovation and I could be wrong but this should get the gym a lot of membership.

I have come to accept that I’m not a gym kind of person and I could be wrong again . Having a target to reach within a set time seems like my kind of stuff. Taking a long membership allows me to slack and procrastinate. So I feel like I will be driven to achieve something and do whatever it takes with this membership 

I felt like I was taking control this morning when I went for the jog, it was tough but I pushed through 

It’s very sore though

So the plan is to do three sessions with a personal trainer and two by myself. I have dedicated 30 minutes a day for this. I still would like to jog even if it’s on weekends 

My lifestyle is improving for the better. I must acknowledge that with our helper offering to stay in on weekends, the quality of the lifestyle will be better, if she’s not able to continue I will try to ask my sister’s helper to assist. This year I want to be a better sibling in every possible way 

Here are the reasons I struggle with gym

1. I have been thin for most part of my life, dealing with weight is a skill I must still acquire 

2. I eat healthy and so I tend to justify my weight to my gene more than what I eat

3. My weight doubled during my pregnancies which happened in a very short period, I then try not to pressurize myself to remove in one year what I accumulated in three years 

4. My intention for gym is to help my body produce the stress relieving hormone, I have work stress and expectations to perform. So when I get a trainer who thinks I’m not pushing myself enough, I feel that’s an additional stress of expectation so I tend to quit in my mind. Honestly I have not conquered in my mind. My second goal is to eliminate the fat that’s hanging on my belly. I must be honest though that with my next pregnancy I am going to request for a procedure to clear the belly fat. It is such a stubborn muscle. Thin before breakfast and soooo big in the evening 🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾. Thirdly I’d like to tone my body and lastly I’d like to maintain a 65kg body weight 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

5. Without a trainer I tend not to know what the job of the equipment is for and I lose perspective.. I am a student as much as I am a teacher. I know there’s a purpose for each tool and I need to be taught how to use it

6. I am not a physically hyper person, I don’t desire to be a body builder nor do I desire my old body . That body had no kids and knows nothing of breastfeeding… a gym seems like a place for fanatics who like pushing each other to the limits in the context of their energy levels….. I am not that girl… I think yoga and related exercises were meant for me 

7. Personal trainers tend to focus on me pushing myself , but I like pacing myself. I know I’m paying and I might as well do the work, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself and  burn out…… basically end up with a work lookalike situation 

8. So when the personal trainer shouts their motivation and says “push” that does the opposite to me ….. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

9. Thankfully my personal trainer is with me and gets me 

10. I need patience , I need to be handled with care

And I am curious to see how I’ll be feeling about gym and its equipment come 31 October 

I do dream of having a fitness room in my house 🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️