But he’s so young

I was 25 years when my brother passed and he was 26 years old

The loss of a sibling is painful but the age factor makes the sting even more painful 

I was so devastated to such an extent that I wished my family would consult to find out what happened. I waited , with such curiosity that someone will say , let’s go to a sangoma and find out who on earth is bothering our family 

That question never came

This was our very first experience of loss as a family. And I believe that this changed our lives forever 

I remember a friend of mine , a child of God asking me , what we were going to do about this. He said that in his culture the death of a young person is a serious concern

And so as a family they would go to a traditional healer and request for a solution to stop the plague or whatever was causing the death to stop. I didn’t share with him that I was so hurt and desperate for answers to an extent that I too thought that’s a logical thing to do. I kept this thought and feeling only to myself 

I think the part that hurt the most is the idea that he still had stuff to do, dreams to achieve and family to built 

This is the very first thought that came to my mind. What also hurt the most was when I grew financially and in position in my career. I wished he was there to see that what we dreamt about I was achieving , I felt we were denied an opportunity to be happy together 

I also felt cheated, why him. He too had a dream , just like I did 

I never had a survivors guilt per Se but I did wonder what makes me special. I wondered and accepted the scripture that indeed life is fleeting in nature

He was so young and I still hurt thinking about him

To accept that his time on earth was done , at 26, has been my hardest process and tough to accept 

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