Learning to let go

Every parent hears a story of how important it is to let go , learn to let go and allow your kids to be on their own. This is said to prepare you for life after matric and many more life experiences ahead where one will be forced to part with the kids.

This is also supposed to help the kids become more independent and sort of prepare them for life away mommy and papa 

So today we let our babies go to grannies in Limpopo. Our oldest is 3 years and young one is 19 months. The only time we were away with either of them was …. never 😜

One elder once visited granny for a few weeks and that’s all…

I come from a traditional family where the importance of allowing in laws have acces to the kids is of outmost importance. There are five older siblings who are married and I have seen how happy it makes my mother to spend time with her grandkids. So I walked into marriage more than prepared for this separation 

My husband on the other side is from a slightly different environment and separation from his kids is something that he wouldn’t dream of… other factors are that unlike my mother who is at home , his mom is a full time pastor and has quite some responsibility on her shoulders. This then makes it even more reasonable that we have never had our kids visit without us….

So through raising these wonderful beings we have spent all our weekends with them and we love every moment of it. This also means we have come to be so attached in so many ways that living without them is like oxygen being sucked out of ourselves..

We are such a great team when coming to parenthood. We have a helper who comes in from Monday and leaves every Friday, which gives us weekends to discover one another and grow together.

So when our helper got ill, we both agreed that giving her some time off will be beneficial for her and that having granny over is such a natural way and we were both happy. Few days in, hubby had thought long and hard about letting the kids go over to grannies….

Part of growing up is making the good decisions which in turn mean growing through pain

Knowing how much it took for him to get to this thought , I couldn’t but just be so proud of him. Without hesitation I said yes!! We immediately started dreaming about how our days would be, going to the cinema , reminiscing about our good old days before parenthood came …. 

We have kept quite a good commitment to date nights and have managed at least two each month with phenomenal consistency from January 2016, however the thrill of going to a date night with nobody saying ….. do you think the kids are still up…. sounds like a great idea

Towards preparing our minds for this separation, we fluctuated from sadness , happiness, excitement and sometimes just numbness and silence. Hubby was happy that he had already committed to granny about this visit because he realized that if that hadn’t happened, he would have easily changed his mind and the whole plan 

Still I was very proud of him for this effort

So today was the day

I had all the bags ready and kids bathed and fed. I didn’t know how I was going to handle the emotion let alone what kind of emotion to expect… so I woke up with a plan… I will prepare and then fix myself up and go do my nails…. this is how I’m going to deal with the situation… KG suggested an outing and I thought it would be a good idea 
The aim was that at 12:00 they should be leaving. It was all systems go by 10am for us and from there we just couldn’t wait to deal with the anxiety … but koko wasn’t ready 😂😂😂

So the wait continued

11:45 everyone was done, we said a prayer and off we went… suddenly I had a song , it’s called ” it’s time to go””I have never heard it anywhere before , there I was in high spirits making sure that my babies energy is in order. I sang buckle up and I strapped the young one in and kissed goodbye. It was time for papa to say goodbye….. and upon seeing that papa is not coming in, regardless of all the talks she and papa had for the whole week, our eldest couldn’t hold her tears back…she screamed for life

By this time we having lumps on our throat and we beg them to go….. namelang Koko…. we blow kisses 

I look to my right and as expected he’s devastated, sobbing… I cuddle him… “”it’s going to be okay”” we walk back inside. I give him a tight squeeze… I ask myself when last have I squeezed this man so tight…. again the silence in the house ….. we take the moment in, we take the silence in , I’m in his arms, he’s wrapped inside my blanket….. I hear his heartbeat….wow when last have I heard his heartbeat ….. again the silence …. I hear tears rolling on my cheeks… standing there with the love of my life, doing life together 

And growing through raising kids

It’s going to be a long month but we are determined to learn how to be ourselves. We are not the two people who didn’t have kids but we are parents now and we are going to reconnect in a beautiful way where the hugs are long not limited by someone asking.. what are you guys doing … or the daily chores of parenthood 

The sound of the heartbeat, my husbands heartbeat… the one

I’m blessed 

So we went out , Sandton and Wodmead… had a great conversation and now we are just enjoying each other’s company 

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