Growing through friendship

My friend gave me a poster with this poem, A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime.I had it hung up on my wall from tertiary days right through my adult life.

As I grow up,I realize I had no clue what it meant, nor was I emotionally prepared of its true meaning. I knew back then that I treasured my friendships, I knew then that my friends would go an extra mile, I knew and felt the love and support through the ups and downs of my life. My friends were always there and are still here.

It is until recently that one of my dear friend said a line that comes out of this poem, that it all came back to me. Like any other growing friendship that is facing life , career,motherhood etc, we miss each other and we are both at different stages of life, whilst with some experiences we can relate to another, the most part we do not relate anymore. Different location also adds to the gap and the distance. Whilst we can take two months not talking to each other, the moment we connect we are like house on fire, the energy is good. Although we both know that the friendship has suffered neglect and it i not intentional,it is just life.

I care about her and  she cares about me. However she had come to a new level of growth in her life, one which also included accepting that perhaps, the reason and purpose she was sent to my life has been achieved. I took that in a very hard way, I started swearing and tearing, I was hurt. This is not where I am, I protested internally, could it be? Is she right? What did  I expect?

I started asking myself what made me cry, what is it that hurt me about her discovery? I realised that, I did not plan to get this point of my life, where we are both not on the same stage of our lives. I also do know what I planned, I had nothing, except I knew that I loved the authentic friendship I have had with her.Perhaps the crux of the matter is, this is the end of a specific chapter, the single ladies chapter and how we related. A beginning of a new chapter, which I don’t have a title for.Perhaps this is to say,instead of leading the friendship from a point of guilt, where we feel we are not seeing each other as often as we used to, not speaking as often as we used, maybe the one time we see each other in a year is enough and that maybe when we see each other , we don’t have to moan and complain about how “not enough” it is.

Perhaps this is to teach us, that this growing through friendship

Still it hurts


Here is the poem

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. 

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. 

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. 

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. 

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. 

Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. 

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. 

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. 

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. 

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..





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