Intention

There is something that I admire about my character and that is the ability to thrive no matter the circumstances that life throws at me. And that is the ability that I believe we all have as human beings. So I have come to identify myself with what they call an “optimistsa person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something”

“a person who believes that this world is the best of all possible worlds or that good must ultimately prevail over evil”

 

 I am positive no matter what; I have managed to learn how to keep my optimism and to balance shining my own light even in the direst of circumstances.

I remember when I decided to write a book how anxious I was to tell my story. The reasons for being anxious were, one because I had suffered a severe memory loss which  I attributed  to giving birth by C-section 19 months apart, I would further also attribute this memory loss to an enormous amount of loss of family members I have suffered in the last  years. So I felt it was important to tell my life story, record it for my own children to read and reflect.

Many other moments have inspired me to write about my life story, some more challenging than inspiring. Quite recently a friend of mine came to visit and he was going on and on about our days in campus, those days are about 12 years ago, he was telling me things that I used to say and dreams I had. I was not shocked that I could not remember any of the things he was talking about; I already knew that I don’t recall most part of my life before 2013. His presence in my house that day was just another reminder of what I already knew, and that is the need to write is even more important now than ever.  The need to record my life is even more crucial.

And so I embarked on this journey of asking myself, what milestones do I know within me and to which I have always wanted my kids to know about me. I started writing these down on my cell phone as notes and started creating topics around these discussions. Most of the things are the stories that I have told to my husband, my friends, the stuff that I never let go of, the stuff that I believed made me the person I am today, the values and the systems that I use as tools to navigate the world, those things are within me and those things I never forgot.

In one hour I had written down all areas that I believe were of significance, moments that as I call them that “changed my life”. Once I did this, I felt a huge sense of relief, I was happy that the moments that matter to me, I know them , wrote them down and now I have permanent ink attached to them, no matter what happens to my brain now, I shall be fine . Some of these I still have some clear recollections of them.

So a part of this book is self-preservation, whilst it is meant to inspire many young girls, I truly believe that it is very important for my children to have an understanding of who I am , where I come from and how was my character shaped and built.

More than anything, I needed to write a book about my life story, how I got to be where I am today. I remember when I was on maternity leave with my second born, I would watch a lot of OWN Master Class programmes, after each and every episode, I would have this desire to record myself and do my own Master class, I seriously felt and still do, that I have something to share and something profound to teach to the world. Unfortunately I never got to do that but the inspiration lingered on.

What was profound after writing the notes on my phone is that I remained in the space of asking myself the intention of this book. I remembered that sometime back after I had left home to pursue my studies in Johannesburg,  I was home for school holidays and a child ran to me , she asked if I was Moshidi  Motshegwa who was a famous actress in one of the drama series those days. The excitement and energy that this child had when asking me , she didn’t even care that I had said no to her and that I am not the one playing that character, nor am in involved the media business for that matter.

From that day onwards, I spoke a lot to myself and to my friends about how we define success. Initially I defined that “moment” with that child, to whom I have since dedicated this writing, as a moment of her defining success as being on television or being a celebrity. But over time, I have since realised that, what this child was seeking for, was inspiration, she was looking for hope, the joy of seeing me on that road, was not just about seeing someone on TV, but it was more about seeing someone who is on TV, who walks the same dusty streets of her township, who breathes the same air as she breathes, who takes the same taxi as she does. And so I believe that this blog, is not only going to be my personal memoir, but it is specifically meant for the kids and children of my hometown Warden, Ezenzeleni, those who are looking, searching for hope, those who are looking at the TV screens, looking for someone who looks like them, comes from them, talks like they do, laughs like they do. This book is for those who are looking and growing in search for identity. I believe that many girls will identify with it and use it to inspire themselves to reach for greater heights.

I am here to inspire

I am here to serve

As I learn, I will teach

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